Holding the light: Be the change

It isn’t easy, this situation we find ourselves in right now, in fact, it feels dark at times. How can we go about holding the light and being the change we want to see in the world?

I saw the situation we find ourselves in today coming a few years ago. In 2018 an impending sense of doom spread over me. The darkness was heavy.

One day, I sat on my steps outside my house and sobbed to my partner, wondering what kind of life and hell hole I brought my two beautiful innocent children into. I felt I had failed and that there was little hope, what did their future look like?

It seemed we were becoming powerless to change this societal matrix we found ourselves in.

The point of no return?

I sensed that we were approaching a point of no return with the ever-increasing electrosmog and surveillance we found ourselves under in the West. In the past one salary could support a family, now families with two salaries struggle to make ends meet. Life is hard, yet most people seem oblivious to the walls closing in around us.

Whilst I always felt lucky I had a roof over my head, food on the table and loved ones around me, I despaired at what was to come. I watched people hypnotised by social media and the little screen that seemed to be attached surgically to people’s hands.

In 2019 I went back to the UK after living in Portugal for many years for a short trip and I witnessed how almost every single person in London was either plugged into their phones or ignored the world and its suffering around them.

I watched parents give their small children their devices when they sat down to eat or were in their pushchairs, ignoring each other but plugged into the eye candy that is Youtube, games and applications.

People were walking with their heads down, already adapting their evolution to be able to sense if someone stopped in front of them and not collide, all the time locked into their alternative reality of what their friend ate for lunch.

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What happened to us?

Nobody seemed to talk to each other anymore, the days of reading a book or newspaper or just gazing out the window as they used to on public transport, was gone. People stepped over street sleepers and looked at them like vermin, moving in their own lanes, blinded and distracted as to what was really happening in the world around them. I felt like I was in the Truman Show.

As we became more reliant on tech, I felt like something in our humanity died. It became commonplace to mock, shame or share ever-increasing polarised views.

The apple in the iPhone became a temptation we have never seen before. Maybe this is what is referred to in the Bible. People became focused outside, and forgot to nourish and nurture what was within.

The Kardashian’s et al became a vision for many of what they wanted to be. Women (and men) started micro-blading their eyebrows, plumping up their lips and aspiring to have a big backside because that was seen as desirable.

Instead of celebrating our imperfections and what makes us beautifully human, people filtered them out.

You can’t filter out everything

I wondered if some people looked in the mirror under daylight and recognised themselves without their applied filter. Porn became free and available 24/7, with any niche or fetish catered for. Instant gratification became more important than working hard and maintaining integrity.

Family life became more and more difficult for people, as looking inside became more and more painful. Reality became skewed. There is so much “noise” around us, it is very difficult to be subjective and it is easier to be distracted from our true power and purpose.

One day I was watching a beautiful sunset by the coast when a young woman arrived in her car and started filming herself for “the ‘gram”. She took many short videos, with the sunset behind her. Coat on and off, hair up and down, singing and looking happy.

She got back in her car, having missed the sunset as her back was turned to it the whole time, she got her shot though for her followers to wonder and envy her amazing life. I was speechless. What had become of our fellow humans?

Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV from Pexels

The depths of social media

Religion and spirituality are often mocked. Individuality has become a thing of the past. Instagram went from being a place to share artistic photos, to being a platform to entice and distract, while Facebook became a battleground of right/left, blue/red and a mouthpiece to criticise those who may not share their views.

Then the censorship came and a fact-checking army was deployed.

Nothing seems to be improving, the rich get richer, the poor, poorer. More and more people are suffering from ill-health and DIS-EASE. I watched friends and family become more anxious, living in the past or future and forgetting to stay in the present.

For years I have asked myself why in this day and age we still have people dying because of dirty water or not being able to heat their house in winter. Why are so many people homeless and struggling with mental health issues? Why are so many people in DIS-EASE?

With all the knowledge and circulating money, why are we in such a mess? The Welfare State as we know it isn’t functioning. People are falling through the net and generations are stuck in the same loop of karma, poverty, illness, trauma and sadness.

The Agenda

In 2019 whilst researching Agenda 21/30 and the desire to have us connected 24/7 to the Internet of Things, I found something called Event 201. I watched “experts” and businesses discuss a hypothetical pandemic that would kill 65 million people and bring life as we knew it to a halt.

What struck me at the time was the focus on private businesses “helping out” and the economic implications of what might happen. There was very little discussion on the impact on individuals or society as a whole.

When the world was told about a virus circulating in Wuhan on the 31st of December, I knew this was it. It was time to usher in that New World Order so many of us had heard about but believed it to be the conspiracy to top all conspiracies.


In a way, recent events meant it started to feel less lonely as more and more people started to question what was really happening. But still, a vast majority of the population continue to sleepwalk into oblivion.

In the beginning, I really believed that this was a biological weapon and if the stories were true within a few weeks we would see a warlike scenario in our hospitals with field tents and people dying in huge numbers. A vision of no ICU beds and health care workers and volunteers doing what they could to keep people comfortable. Except that didn’t quite happen.

Whilst I have no doubt people have died of the disease “Covid 19” and there have been periods where the health service has struggled, I began to question whether we were really being told the truth in its entirety and what was the overall purpose.

Almost 2 years in I still don’t know of anyone personally who has died or been severely ill with Covid. I do know many people who have contracted Covid 19 post-vaccine and have been unwell. I also know several people who have had adverse effects from the vaccine though.

Fear is damaging

It was clear to me early on, that lockdowns for any length of time would be catastrophic for the general population. Yet this was ignored by commentators and professionals alike. Loneliness, stress, anxiety, fear and despair are all harmful to our well being. We now face a tsunami of disease because of delayed diagnosis and treatment.

Instead of promoting ways in which we improve and support our immune system, they forced people to stay indoors, or cover their faces and stand apart from each other. Gyms were closed. People found it hard to access the health service and the sole focus became on Covid 19. Nothing else seemed to be newsworthy.

When they closed pubs and hairdressers, I sensed it was because they didn’t want us talking to each other. When they shut schools for months on end and drove everything online, I realised that this wasn’t meant to go back to “normal”. We were now heading for the “NEW” normal. Or at least their version of it.

I spent the following months (and now years) researching every single day for hours of my “free time”. I didn’t get paid for it, but it felt like it was something I needed to do.

When I say research I mean deep-diving into everything they told us, looking at bed occupancy, audit data, medical journals, vaccine trial protocols, treatments, the evolution of the disease and reactions to it to name a few.

It is not about health

Once they rolled the vaccine out in super-fast time, it was obvious Big Pharma was in charge. This was and never was about “health”. It was all about profit and control. It wasn’t easy standing with your head above the parapet and going against the narrative at such an early stage. But something kept me going.

I cross-referenced and shared what we were being told by the media, handpicked “experts” and by our elected officials. It was very apparent to me we were not being told the truth. The only message was fear and Covid deaths. They locked us down simultaneously across the Western World for our “health” and to protect the health services from becoming overwhelmed.

I watched lie after lie, inconsistency after inconsistency and I watched people change. More and more division became apparent. I spent a lot of time that first year trying to counter the narrative amongst friends and family. Not to be controversial but to balance the playing field which was levelled in the favour of the doom pushers.

In the end, I stopped posting so much on Facebook because all I got was a confrontation and what I perceived to be a judgement about my morality and integrity because I dared to go against the grain. I would get a pounding heart when I posted, fearing backlash from those who have known me for years.

When does a conspiracy theory become fact?

I got called a conspiracy theorist more times than I can count, I had my mental health questioned. Some friends stopped contacting me or avoided talking to me about anything to do with the so-called “pandemic”. Cognitive dissonance was rife. Even some of my most educated friends, could not see past what the BBC were telling them.

I felt isolated and questioned my own beliefs and sanity at times. What if I was wrong after all? But as the months passed, I realised when I stood in my power and used my intuition I was guided in the right direction.

The gut never lies. This wasn’t a pandemic of a virus. This was a pandemic of fear and a way in which to stop people from understanding and believing in their true power and the awakening that is written in the stars.

After darkness always come light

It wasn’t all bad though, in fact, I have emerged from this stronger, more spiritual and more centred than ever. I am lucky I have a partner who thinks like me and is super supportive along with a great small network of family and friends that have listened to me, taken things on board and shared their own views.

As time has passed, more and more people have realised that something isn’t quite right with the situation we find ourselves in. You don’t have to be conspiracy-minded to know that something seems off-kilter.

In the early days, I ditched Facebook as my platform and migrated to Twitter and found an army of people who despite everything, have been able to see through the lies and distractions and stand in their true power.

I studied more about health and healing and learnt about the body electric, the power of quantum healing, heart coherence and the importance of being centred. More and more like-minded people came into my sphere and continue to do so.

Soul purpose

I realised that this was my true soul purpose. Whilst I have always been a carer, what I really am is a healer. I began to meditate and became more spiritual than ever. I even started to pray and ask the universe or divine source for guidance. I started manifesting (it works!).

My spirituality has grown, my views have shifted and I am in the best place I have ever been. You see, no matter what goes on around us, worrying about it or being in fear is counterproductive. There is little point in stressing over what you cannot change, it is wasted energy.

So, that brings me to today. Whilst I have always been what I consider to be spiritual, I have never aligned myself or practised a specific religion. I believe that while religion teaches us that God is outside of us, really it is inside of us all.

We don’t need to follow scripture, go to church or read a book that was written 2000 years ago. We have all the answers inside of us if we decide to listen. When we become centred, unblock the energy we hold in certain areas and come from a place of love, we are able to stand in our true power.

Maintaining your centre

Over the course of the last 2 years, I have had many wobbles. It is like they keep throwing curve balls at us to be distracted from our true purpose. I have felt anxious and out of control at times, but the more I practice, the more this is transient and I am able to come back to centre again. Once you maintain this centre and balance, life becomes much easier.

To become aware and in a sense awaken spiritually is not easy. In fact, it is quite painful as you address your shadows, demons and triggers. And believe me when I say I had a lot.

From the moment you are conceived and then grow through infancy, you are being programmed and formatted by your environment and genetics. Your nervous system is developing and learning to respond to perceived or real threats. When our security is threatened, we develop coping mechanisms. The way in which you interact with the world around you very much depends on this programming and formation.

The turning point

The turning point for me in my healing and awakening as such was undergoing Reiki treatment and then becoming a Reiki provider. My Reiki Master is a wonderful woman named Bo, who I moved in next door to when I left a long relationship with my two boys. Nothing happens by chance, we were meant to be in each other’s lives.

As the months have passed Bo and I walk together at least once or twice a week with my two dogs. We walk, talk and discuss our ideas and ways in which we can hold our own light and be a light for others.

During these walks, we laugh, cry, meditate, give each other Reiki and send out love to the Universe. We discuss what is happening around us and help each other find some understanding of it.

If you want to learn more about Reiki, crystals and aromatherapy oils, Bo is your woman. See her site here.

Down to the river to pray

These last few weeks have been tough for many, me included. It felt dark and the energy was low. Bo and I were on our normal walk and started talking about things we have seen in our vision when meditating.

One day whilst meditating, I saw a scene of people in white robes down by the river. She said, “maybe that was your Baptism in a previous life”. Then she said, “I have that song in my head from O Brother Where Art Thou, Down to the River to Pray”. We played it while we were walking and both got serious shivers.

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the starry crown
Good Lord, show me the way !
O sisters let’s go down,
Let’s go down, come on down,
O sisters let’s go down,
Down in the river to pray.
As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the robe and crown
Good Lord, show me the way !
O brothers let’s go down,
Let’s go down, come on down,
Come on brothers let’s go down,
Down in the river to pray.
As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the starry crown
Good Lord, show me the way !
O fathers let’s go down,
Let’s go down, come on down,
O fathers let’s go down,
Down in the river to pray.
As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the robe and crown
Good Lord, show me the way !
O mothers let’s go down,
Let’s go down, don’t you want to go down,
Come on mothers let’s go down,
Down in the river to pray.
As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the starry crown
Good Lord, show me the way !

It is all cyclical

In truth, you don’t have to believe in a particular god or religion, or any story you may have been told. You just have to believe in yourself and your sovereignty. Fear and darkness are designed to stop us from achieving our true power and keep us divided.

I am of the strong belief that this period is a time when people can have enlightenment if they look for it. It won’t be for everyone, and many will check out as it is too painful.

Astrologically, it is a cycle, a 25,000 year one. If change is coming, it is now. We decide how that change manifests as a collective consciousness. What a time to be alive.

When you hear about people “holding the light” it really does make a difference. When we meditate and focus on love and purity, we emit more photons of light than when we don’t.

Act from the heart, not the head and use your crown to guide the way. If you have a room full of 100 people all in low vibrational energy, just one beacon of light can lift the room. Be that light. If you are feeling it, find your tribe to lift you when you need it.

Energy and Light

We are light beings with a vast amount of energy contained within our cells. Energy doesn’t lie and it doesn’t die, it just changes. We have the ability to envision a new world, one that is focused on love and nurturing, not rules and regulations. If you always listen to your heart and intuition, you can’t go far wrong.

I want to apologise to anyone in my sphere if I have ever caused pain or fear, it was never my intention. From this day forward, I promise I will only try and maintain my energy and spread light and love. It isn’t always easy, with all these curveballs thrown at us. But that is what they want.

It is time to envision a future that looks very different from today, instead of focusing on the negative, let’s focus on the positive. Those of us who have been through a battle the last few years and come out stronger are in this position for a reason.

In the coming months and maybe years there may be a lot of darkness and shade thrown at us, but we cannot let that drag us down. Be the world and future you want to see. For me, that does not include having to “show my papers” to anyone.

So, I am off to the river to pray, want to come?

For my services, please see here.


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